Catch Them Being Good

When children don’t do as they’re told, and seem defiant, setting more rules and boundaries often doesn’t work. When a child is dyspraxic, whether or not in combination with other labels, what may seem like “I won’t” may really be ”I can’t”.

To change the dynamics, try catching them being good: Anytime you see anything that you can describe as positive, mention it and thank them.

Thank you for smiling. It makes me feel happy.

Thank you for picking that up. The room looks nicer now.

Thank you for putting that down gently. It made a nice soft sound.

Thank you for cleaning up. Let me help you.

Be very explicit about what good behaviour you are thanking them for.

Keeping up that positive praise moment after moment, day after day, is difficult. But in our experience, it will have an effect.

Ask your child for ideas on how they can calm down when they need to. Include your own calming down strategies. Show them we all need to manage our feelings sometimes.

In a busy family, often when tensions run high, we press each other’s buttons. But that’s not showing your child the best way to be. So pay attention, if you can, to also notice, recognize and thank each other for anything.

Sometimes you may feel, “If am going to catch that one being good I’d better not blink.”

And that’s okay.